tell me a million time not to do it.
i still do..
believe me, i'm scared
tell myself every time i should stop.
i would pray and push away all this thoughts away.
but still i do.
i know he is watching.
but i still do.
trigger me with a gun
i still feel the fear.
desire me with the words.
bring me closer to god pleasee.
i don't want to drift.
i think it's not fair.
i remember him a lot.
every single time of my life.
my eyes
my ears
my hand
my legs
my brain
my organs.
everything was his creation.
the ability to do everything in a prefect way.
Yet we still do somethings that he disagree.
i want to change
i would pray and push this fear away.
just believe and i know he could see my inside out.